I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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