Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
