We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
