just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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