Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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