Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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