please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
