hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
