dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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