before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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