Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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