First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
