I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
