Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
