My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
