Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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