It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
