Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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