Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
