Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
