Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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