oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Randomize
