i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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