...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i will never coherently bang her
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
