I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
