i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
