So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
