whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i believe in u and ur pee
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
