Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
