They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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