fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
