I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Randomize
