Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
