there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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