I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
