ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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