therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
