is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
