she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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