Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
