Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
