so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
this boner is exhausting
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
