It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
