I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize