Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
