how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
