32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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