I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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