i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
