i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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