if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
