My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
