Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
