So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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