I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My hand turned me down
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
