found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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