I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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