brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
