no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you inspire me to be a worse person
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize