Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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