I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
