okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Please don't give away my fajitas
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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