After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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