Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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