I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
don't judge my taste in strippers
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
