Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
